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Keith OHalloran

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2013, 11:42:46 AM »
Some of these are after the round as well.
1) the guy that makes you ask for the money he lost. When you lose, pay up immediately.

2) If I come in the bar, and ask how your round was, do not start your answer with "I was even in three fairway..." Just say fine or crappy!

3) The guy that throws clubs

4) ball marks on greens

5) the guy who gives you helpful advice when you are in the middle of your worst and most frustrating round.

Tim Martin

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2013, 12:09:22 PM »
1) Double booker-The guy that accepts 1 or more games for the same time and then bails on everyone at the last minute for the best opportunity.
2) Guys in front of you who are plumb bobbing for 8. Pick it up and go to the next tee-PLEASE!
3) Opponents that want to change the game in the middle because things are not going their way.
4) Pro Shops that only sell small tees.
5) Courses that don't tell you of a recent aerification when making a tee time over the phone or who don't post it on their website

jim_lewis

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2013, 12:14:23 PM »
The expression "golfing" instead of "playing golf".
"Crusty"  Jim
Freelance Curmudgeon

Mac Plumart

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #28 on: March 16, 2013, 12:21:00 PM »
People insisting you play for money on your first round back from total hip replacement surgery and using your unadjusted handicap from before the surgery.

Isolated courses that won't allow you to eat lunch.

People who won't host me at Pine Valley.

People who make me putt out from inside 15 feet.

Anyone playing the course I'm playing but aren't in my group.
Sportsman/Adventure loving golfer.

Mark Pritchett

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #29 on: March 16, 2013, 12:47:20 PM »


Isolated courses that won't allow you to eat lunch.


Frankly this sounds made up. 

Joe Leenheer

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #30 on: March 16, 2013, 01:04:30 PM »
1. Old worn out shoes
2. Golf bags that match items listed in #1
3. Woods without headcovers
4. Ball washers on the 1st tee.
5. Any bag with more then 3 bag tags (unless your a member of all courses...then this had the opposite effect)



Never let the quality of your game determine the quality of your time spent playing it.

Paul Gray

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #31 on: March 16, 2013, 01:26:18 PM »
Tricky to limit it to five!

1) The Oblivious Hacker - He's either new to the game or just plain stupid. Despite requiring at least 120 shots to get round the course (and I have no problem with that, per se), like a man hogging the road, it's never even occurred to him that the pile up behind him might have something to do with him. In fact, he's never even noticed the aforementioned pile up.

2) The Arrogant "Serious" Golfer - He's been playing for years and feels this gives him carte blanche to dictate the pace of play for everyone else. Despite never making it to single digits he considers himself superior enough to take however much time he likes without making way for quicker golfers. As far as he's concerned it doesn't matter if the group behind are quicker, he's just about round the front nine in two hours and the group behind obviously just aren't taking their game seriously enough, particularly if, heaven forbid, they happen to be younger than him. Hastily amends this attitude when his failing eyesight just about manages to make out the club pro in the following group.

3) The Amateur Swing Coach - He's like a wild animal picking out the weak in the pack. Find yourself in a game with him and an unfortunate, affable high handicapper and you'll spend 18 holes trying to bite your tongue and finding a quiet moment to reassure the now confused victim that they're not actually a hopeless failure and now is not the time to be making dramatic swing changes. Your 'coach' may just have what he considers to be a trump card to play and tells you all about the course he went on in Marbella. You know, but he doesn't, that this is just code for "got sold a meaningless certificate and paid £3,000 for the privilege."

4) The Distance Junkie - Depending on your own mindset on the day, he can either be the biggest pain or an amusing playing partner. The sweet, long drive down the first suggests he may be able to play a bit and you wonder if, with twenty two shots, he's something of a bandito. The subsequent six shots to reach the dance floor confirm that twenty two might flatter him. After a few holes you wonder why he doesn't stick to a driving range, since golf for him apparently begins and ends with hitting long. The fact that he tends to play long down the wrong fairway is seemingly just a minor issue. There is always a par 3 where he will proudly announce it's "just an eight iron" for him. You proceed to strike a six iron to the heart of the green and stand back to watch the inevitable. He proceeds to hit his cleanest iron shot of the day, only to find himself ten yards short of the putting surface. He's apparently ignorant to the fact that you saw and heard the shot and utters the inevitable "didn't really get hold of that." You very gently mention that you personally find that taking a little more club and using a little less muscle gives you better rewards and, not wanting to sink into the role of Amateur Swing Coach, you leave it at that.

5) The Persistent Whinger - The only barrier between him and breaking 70 is the state the course is in. There is nothing that can't be explained away with a complaint about a bad lie (even in the rough, no less), an uneven tee, a ball apparently not running true on the green or a lack of sand in a bunker. The wind is apparently capable of serving him up unspeakable bad luck but never capable of bailing him out of a bad shot because, somehow, the wind can always shove his ball away from the green but never towards it. If none of these excuses can be thrown into the mix he'll probably remember half way round that he slipped a disc last week and is therefore not doing too badly really. When you ask if he's absolutely sure he's OK to continue he bravely declares that he'll soldier on for your sake. You explain there's really no need to worry on your account but he wouldn't dream of deserting you. He plays the next four holes in level par and the imminent call to the osteopath is a distant memory.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2013, 12:13:20 PM by Paul Gray »
In the places where golf cuts through pretension and elitism, it thrives and will continue to thrive because the simple virtues of the game and its attendant culture are allowed to be most apparent. - Tim Gavrich

Paul Gray

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #32 on: March 16, 2013, 01:27:28 PM »
The expression "golfing" instead of "playing golf".

Ah yeah, +1 to that.
In the places where golf cuts through pretension and elitism, it thrives and will continue to thrive because the simple virtues of the game and its attendant culture are allowed to be most apparent. - Tim Gavrich

Bill_McBride

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #33 on: March 16, 2013, 01:30:46 PM »
Hot humid days. 

Welcome to my world!  When are you coming down, August?   :D

Tim Martin

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #34 on: March 16, 2013, 01:47:16 PM »


Isolated courses that won't allow you to eat lunch.


Frankly this sounds made up. 
I have never heard of this either Mark. Do you know this poster Mac Plumart? People say he is great guy but he sounds sort of whiny. ;D

Ronald Montesano

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #35 on: March 16, 2013, 02:11:45 PM »
People insisting you play for money on your first round back from total hip replacement surgery and using your unadjusted handicap from before the surgery.

Are these frequent occurrences?
Coming in August 2023
~Manakiki
~OSU Scarlet
~OSU Grey
~NCR South
~Springfield
~Columbus
~Lake Forest (OH)
~Sleepy Hollow (OH)

Ronald Montesano

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #36 on: March 16, 2013, 02:12:43 PM »
Anyone playing the course I'm playing but aren't in my group.

Your course allows 111 others in a group?
Coming in August 2023
~Manakiki
~OSU Scarlet
~OSU Grey
~NCR South
~Springfield
~Columbus
~Lake Forest (OH)
~Sleepy Hollow (OH)

Mac Plumart

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #37 on: March 16, 2013, 02:20:47 PM »
People insisting you play for money on your first round back from total hip replacement surgery and using your unadjusted handicap from before the surgery.

Are these frequent occurrences?

I pray not.
Sportsman/Adventure loving golfer.

Carson Pilcher

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #38 on: March 16, 2013, 02:35:50 PM »
I have to agree with Mac's ass chaping of Wade Schuneman's short-game.  It pretty much rubs me the wrong way too.

Ronald Montesano

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #39 on: March 16, 2013, 03:01:15 PM »
2) If I come in the bar, and ask how your round was, do not start your answer with "I was even in three fairway..." Just say fine or crappy!

Then, how do you feel about the opening salvo in this thread: http://www.golfclubatlas.com/forum/index.php/topic,55169.0.html
Coming in August 2023
~Manakiki
~OSU Scarlet
~OSU Grey
~NCR South
~Springfield
~Columbus
~Lake Forest (OH)
~Sleepy Hollow (OH)

Ron Csigo

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #40 on: March 16, 2013, 03:04:41 PM »
Electronic Smart Phone Scorecard/Stat Guy - The guy who keeps not only his score but also fairways hit, putts per hole, sand saves, up and downs, yardage hit with driver, club hit into each hole while shooting a million.
Playing and Admiring the Great Golf Courses of the World.

Keith OHalloran

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #41 on: March 16, 2013, 03:42:45 PM »
2) If I come in the bar, and ask how your round was, do not start your answer with "I was even in three fairway..." Just say fine or crappy!

Then, how do you feel about the opening salvo in this thread: http://www.golfclubatlas.com/forum/index.php/topic,55169.0.html


Just like in real life, I got about a quarter of the way through, realized where this was going, and went to get a drink.

cary lichtenstein

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #42 on: March 16, 2013, 03:46:41 PM »
We could write a great book with all of this
Live Jupiter, Fl, was  4 handicap, played top 100 US, top 75 World. Great memories, no longer play, 4 back surgeries. I don't miss a lot of things about golf, life is simpler with out it. I miss my 60 degree wedge shots, don't miss nasty weather, icing, back spasms. Last course I played was Augusta

Tim Martin

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #43 on: March 16, 2013, 04:11:46 PM »
2) If I come in the bar, and ask how your round was, do not start your answer with "I was even in three fairway..." Just say fine or crappy!

Then, how do you feel about the opening salvo in this thread: http://www.golfclubatlas.com/forum/index.php/topic,55169.0.html


Just like in real life, I got about a quarter of the way through, realized where this was going, and went to get a drink.

You did better than me as I only made it to the 2nd tee box. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

cary lichtenstein

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #44 on: March 16, 2013, 04:20:01 PM »
I got stuck playing with a prick that took every phone call, smoked and didn't give a rats ass which way the wind was blowing the smoke. He had other irratiating habits that drove me batty, and I eventually left the 4 some. I tried talking to him a few times, but his behaviour never changed. What was stupid of me was sticking around for about a years, letting this stuff get to me and not recognizing the best thing I could do was find another game.
Live Jupiter, Fl, was  4 handicap, played top 100 US, top 75 World. Great memories, no longer play, 4 back surgeries. I don't miss a lot of things about golf, life is simpler with out it. I miss my 60 degree wedge shots, don't miss nasty weather, icing, back spasms. Last course I played was Augusta

Greg Tallman

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #45 on: March 16, 2013, 10:35:33 PM »
1. The 2 ball from the NY area that demadns to play at their own pace though behind several 4somes and the many others behind that would be affected by his playing through numerous groups.

2. #1

3. #1

4. #1

5. #1

Sorry to call out the NY area but each and every time something like this occurs, I chuckle and bet someone where the offfending party is from. Yet to lose.

Almost tempted to share e-mail exchanges with some of these "I am the most important person in the world" types. 

Sam Morrow

Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #46 on: March 17, 2013, 10:38:33 AM »
I forgot to add Serious Guy. Serious Guys is the one who thinks he's a Tour player and wants silence. He also is overly serious and has no sense of humor. Serious Guys also represents about 14% of GCA'ers.

Carl Johnson

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #47 on: March 17, 2013, 11:02:59 AM »
1.  The few players who think their high skill level gives them special privileges on the course.

2.  Unrequested, volunteered assistance (such as green reading) from four-ball partner.

3.  A player who pounds his tee flat into ground after striking his tee ball.

4.  Players who deposit their cigarette and cigar butts on the course any place they please.

5.  Cliche spewers.




Joel Zuckerman

  • Karma: +0/-0

Peter Ferlicca

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Top 5 things that chap your ass while golfing
« Reply #49 on: March 17, 2013, 11:34:47 AM »
1.  The PGA tour dreamer-  I play with these guys all the time here in the Coachella Valley and having all my friends being assistant golf pro's.  Most of them are caddies that think they are amazing.  Demand to play the farthest back tees even if it is over 7,600 yards.  Think that if they only could make a couple more putts they could be on tour.  They hit it 285 dead straight off the tee, you tell them, "nice drive" and they reply back with, "ahh, I caught it off the toe, wasn't that good."  There are way to many PGA tour dreamers, just enjoy golf and realize you have NO CHANCE.  The best is when my 78 beats their 82 and I am out there just having a good time.  

2.  Stand over my ball for over 10 seconds before pulling the trigger guy-  nothing is more annoying than when a guy looks like he is ready to pull the trigger, and he just stands there like he has fallen asleep, and then after eternity seems to have passed he finally hits the ball.  After the 3rd hole, I am usually off the tee box before he hits because it bothers me so much.  

3.  I want to recap my whole round to you in the golf shop-  Like others have said, when I ask you how your round was, I am expecting a good, bad, nice comment.  When you start recapping every shot you hit and how it could have been much better, I start losing my patience.  I realize when I am in the golf shop I am paid to listen to you babble, but after a while I just walk to the cart barn and act like I have something to do.  

4.  These greens are way too firm kind of guy, the super doesn't know what he is doing-  My immediate response to this 29 handicapper when he comes into the golf shop after a bad round complaining about firm greens and how his ball never stops.  "Learn how to hit the ball higher buddy."  Firm greens are a sign of healthy greens, wet soft greens are receptive to diseases.  If you don't like them go join somewhere where they are soft and bumpy.  

5.  The cigarette somker who thinks the golf course is his ashtray-  Hey I don't mind if you smoke cigs, even if you are a dick and don't realize you are blowing your smoke in everyones face.  BUT DON'T feel like you are entitled to just pitch your cig whenever your heart desires.  Nothing is worse than being behind a foursome with some smokers and every time you approach the green you see cigarette butts all around the place.  If I was walking my dog and let him take dumps on your front yard every morning and didn't pick it up, how would you feel, it is the same thing in my opinion.  

Other than that I am a pretty easy guy to play with.  

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