[Doug Siebert]

In order to get a proper tally on where people stand on course contamination and identify individual hypocrisies we almost need to make a quiz....I'll start:


1) When/where is spitting acceptable on a golf course?
    A. Never
    B. Never on tees, fairways and greens and surroundings, and trying to do it unobserved
    C. Never on greens
    D. Anywhere, I don't see what the big deal with Tiger was

2) When/where is urination on the golf course acceptable?
    A. Only in restrooms/port-a-potties
    B. Only in out of the way areas where you can't possibly be observed by others
    C. In a somewhat out of the way area where you won't be too observed
    D. Whip it out anywhere, even in the middle of the fairway

3) Where is it permissible to dispose of cigarette butts on the golf course?
    A. Nowhere, smoking should be banned from golf courses
    B. Only in designated waste receptacles or kept on you for later disposal
    C. Anywhere other than greens, fairways or tees
    D. Anywhere at all, a butt on the green is a loose impediment no different than an acorn or maple seed

4) When/where is it permissible to bring a dog on the golf course, and what should be done about his natural urges?
    A. Dogs do not belong on golf courses
    B. Don't let the dog urinate on tees, greens or fairways, and pick up any poop anywhere on the course
    C. Have him poop in the rough, leave it there, and don't worry about where he urinates
    D. Dogs aren't the only animals pooping on the course, just watch where you step


My answers are B, B, B, and B, though to be fair I must admit if I were Emperor of the world it'd be B, B, A, and A (unless they are VERY well trained dogs, with me, the Emperor, being the sole deteriment of how well-trained the dog is)

[Melvyn Morrow]

Duncan

I cannot ever recall spitting in public; let alone spiting on a golf course.

As for shooting behind a tree to ‘shake hands with the wife’s best friend’, as you may know my love for the links courses, which by their very nature have an abundance shortage of trees to allow me to perform like a male dog. I can honestly say that I have never once done that at St Andrews, nor do I remember at any other course.

Perhaps the problem is beer and the youth of today who seem unable to take it or either hold it until the right occasion, but then that’s the consequence of not maintaining the basic Rules of Etiquette – consideration to others. 

I suppose it boils down to straight forward manners and consideration for others;  perhaps one can  liken it to how one plays golf, it may be the way ones was educated to it, presuming a proper induction was given, laying out the basics, starting with course conduct.  Over here courts do not allow ignorance of the law as an excuse to breaking any part of it. The Rules of Etiquette are there as a simple guide not to disrupt other Golfers including your own game.

Melvyn.

PS As for the rant by Ronald Tricks O’Hooligan Montesano, all I can say to you is that ‘You spit in the Face’ of real golfers who show respect for others.

[Travis Dewire]

Yes Melyvn,

When I was 18-22, still dippin my brains out, I did it in college, at my home club, in my home club tournaments, and in state am's and opens. Not a single person got remotely upset at me. Yeah, I would try not to spit on the greens, but that will not always happen. Whats the difference between spitting on a green, or right next to it, really? Like I said, not a single MAN, well older than me, and with all the authority in the world to tell me to cut it out, or to tell me it was disrespectful, never did. No one in the State Open's cared, no one in the State Am's cared, not a single member at my club (and I know most) ever cared.


Take it easy brother, you're gettin all bent over alittle spit

[Travis Dewire]

dude, if you have never peed outside on a golf course, you gotta loosen up that collar

[Melvyn Morrow]

Travis

What can one say, in fact what is the point in even trying.

It would seem if I travelled to your State, upon opening the doors of the aircraft it would be engulfed by a giant blob of salvia – not an experience I wish to entertain, so rest easy I will not be visiting you to try and show you the errors of your way(s).

I think I have just  found one of your past efforts check it out  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AASYGG7mrw&feature=related

Melvyn

PS Your spittle goes before you, but when the wind changes on TOC beware you may suffer the same fate as the girl in the clip. I wonder if the Police would  have to call it suicide as its all your own DNA!!

PPS I am no Dude, alright mate

[jeffwarne]

This one seems pretty simple.
If you were fortunate enough to be invited by Mr. Huntley to play with him at MPCC;
would you openly spit on the green if you felt the urge?
If your answer is yes, you just offended your host, one of many real gentlemen of the game.
If your answer is no, I'd assume that to behave differently at another course would be hypocritical (i.e. if you felt it was wrong in front of Mr. Huntley on a green, then it is wrong)

As a former dipper/chewer, I understand the urge/habit to spit.
Spitting is a nasty habit (as my daughters have reminded me) ,but it certainly can be controlled.
for instance, when I was in college I had roomates who kept full cups of spit laying around the living areas of our apartment which I guess indicates that they felt it was inappropriate to spit on the floor, but OK in the disgusting cups.
I don't spit indoors, but I often do spit in the woods or other off course areas when playing. (It's still a nasty habit and I'm working to eliminate it)
The point is it is controllable as I don't know anyone who spits on the floor of a living room-therefore it is controllable.
 People spit where they deem it appropriate and where that "appropriate area " is is a matter of judgement and concern for other people's thoughts on the subject.(i.e err on the side of caution)

Travis, I seriously doubt that there are NO members or players at the clubs you WERE A GUEST AT during State Am's or tournaments  that didn't have a problem with someone spitting on a green. Lots of kids act like pricks/punks in tournaments doing things besides spitting-It doesn't make them less spoiled if no one says anything.
It's a matter of respect.
Don't assume that because they did not say something that they condone such activity-anymore than they condone club throwing or cursing.
Certainly the superintendent at that club (who may dip and spit himself) would take great offense at someone spitting on his handiwork.

I think Doug Seibert's got this about right and even if he doesn't, it doesn't hurt to err on the side of caution.

[Travis Dewire]

Sorry mate. Dude is a rather endearing term in my vernacular, so please do not take offense by it.

I like you because you have never peed on a golf course. I love formality and all things formal, and those that have always been that way, including golf. And I respectful all things garnering respect. But a little devilment sure is fun  ;-)

[Melvyn Morrow]

Thanks Dude

From a (non spitting) mate

[Jon Spaulding]

What about drooling?

[Michael Wharton-Palmer]

With this current head cold that I have and the constant sniffing that accompanies it..you bet I have to spit on the golf course...however I would NOT spit on the putting surface.

[Dan Kelly]

Rick Shefchic,

Perhaps you've never seen Savahna Guthrie (sp?), Megyn Kelly, Martha McCallum (sp ?), Gretchen Carlson, and Mika Brzeziniski.

I find them incredibly interesting and wouldn't mind learning anything and everything about any of their vices(;

I can't speak for Rick Shefchik (sp?), but of course I don't need to. He spoke for himself.

He clearly said "reporters."

[Sean_A]

I piss and spit on courses.  I cough too.  I also sneeze.  I also find a need to take a breathe or two now and again.  I have had very long term issues with ears, nose and throat and there is no way I am swallowing flem if it can be avoided.  Spitting most certainly helps keep the passages clear (which being outside helps to bung up because of pollens etc) and thus enable me to hear better.  Folks do all sorts of things on golf courses, and more importantly off courses that I don't like, but I have learned to live and let live. 

Kyle

If spit causes damage to a green (yes, the green is just grass no?) then I suggest green keepers are doing something wrong.  Perhaps if we treated grass like it was...grass, then maybe the game would be a damn sight cheaper to play.

Ciao   

[Duncan Betts]

I would never spit on a green, not because I have some sort of extra respect for the grass on the green, but because if I'm on the green - its highly likely that I am in close proximity to my fellow playing partners.

I think spitting on a golf course is fine, as long as it is done discreetly.  I also have the same view on the subject of taking a leak.  Don't whip long john out in the middle of the fairway, head into the trees or the extremities of the rough as far out of sight as possible.  This is common courtesy.  The behaviour suggested by Melvyn isn't ettiquette or common courtesy, it is simply a position of belligerence for the sake of being belligerent in some misguided attempt at being viewed as a member of the outdated aristocracy of the past.

Perhaps the problem is beer and the youth of today who seem unable to take it or either hold it until the right occasion, but then that’s the consequence of not maintaining the basic Rules of Etiquette – consideration to others.

I routinely play in 35* heat and drink litres of water in the process, it has very little to do with beer and age.

Whatever, spitting is a disgusting act, I cannot see how you condone the habit.

The 'habit' of spitting is a disgusting act, especially with regularity in the company of others.  The neccessity to spit out flem/saliva that builds up when you would prefer it doesn't, isn't a 'habit' at all and is pefectly acceptable if done discreetly.

I find the act of someone spitting out wine into a spitoon at a wine tasting right in front of me, far more disconcerting than someone with an unfortunatelyt build-up of flem/saliva spitting it out on the golf course when not within 20m of me.  In fact, I've only ever seen someone spit at my home club when they thought I wasn't looking, and usually they give a quick apology or 'excuse me' and we move on.

[Melvyn Morrow]

Common decent behaviour is now being defined as being a ‘member of the out-dated aristocracy of the past’.

But the real point is that you just do not care, you do not give a moment’s thought to those who find it offensive.  Shows how much consideration we can expect from you on a golf course.

And we wonder why golf is suffering. We are sinking very quickly to the lowest common denominator.

Melvyn   

[Duncan Betts]

But the real point is that you just do not care, you do not give a moment’s thought to those who find it offensive.  Shows how much consideration we can expect from you on a golf course.

You obviously haven't bothered to read what I have written in quite common English.  I could probably play 18 holes with you at TOC, and if I had the unfortunate need to spit on all 18 holes, I would most likely do it without you even knowing.  This is quite acceptable behaviour, how can you be offended by something you do not even witness?  This obviously becomes more difficult for a professional, given there are galleries and camera watching their every move.  Perhaps they should spit in a rag and hand it to their caddy?  Probably ok to be rude and churlish to caddies in your little world?

I think you misuse the word 'common'.  As it would seem to be commonly accepted that on the odd occassion, there may be a need to spit, and if done so discreetly, it is perfectly acceptable.

Your view doesn't appear to be a common one at all, and I guess it proves the old saying that the trouble with common sense, is that it isn't all that common....

Those that spit on greens and in front of others on a regular basis can also be defined as 'common' (as muck)

Wow, this 'common' word is very versatile

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