Grant,
As an analogy, Melvyn's claims about links golf is kinda like saying real ice cream is only vanilla. Anything other than vanilla ice cream is not ice cream.
I feel sorry for him, cause his narrow beliefs are robbing him of a much fuller and satisfying existence...its actually a pity because I think Mel does provide some good insight otherwise from time to time.
Kalen
As Duncan says, thanks for putting that so well.
Sometimes I think Melvyn believes we are all part of a great conspiracy and planning a mass assault on The Old Course by driving around it in golf carts following paths programmed into their GPS units whilst planting hundreds of trees at precisely measured intervals that we will confirm with our laser rangefinders!!!!!
I picture him as a lone figure of resistance (think Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando or Running Man) single handedly taking down all those who dare threaten the Old Lady armed with hickory barreled guns and grenades disguised as featheries. He deftly manoeuvres around the landscape, showcasing his enviable level of fitness from all those years from walking while golfing, hiding in the deep bunkers (not those modern shallow ones where he would easily be seen) and emerging like a whiskey soaked jack in the box swearing and cursing.
At the crucial moment where it appears the enemy (ie the other 6.5 billion people in the world who fail to share his exact views on golf, architecture, sustainable energy, who really shot JFK, etc) is about to overpower our hero, he is able to channel the spirit of Old Tom through an ancient form of meditation learnt while travelling the barren outer limits of South Uist.
With this supernatural boost he unleashes a flurry of opinion and successfully manages to bore the attackers into submission by talking down to them and repeating his same message over and over to until their poor brains can no longer handle it and they are simply too drained to fight.
PS Melvyn, if you are reading this, we have an expression in our country called taking the piss out of someone. Look it up.
