Golf Club Atlas
GolfClubAtlas.com => Golf Course Architecture => Topic started by: ed_getka on October 13, 2014, 09:59:41 PM
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Many of us are well aware of what a great group of people the Treehouse is. I am not one to usually make a fuss but I simply must acknowledge the extraordinary gift I received this weekend. I lost my 15 year old son to leukemia on July 1. I have been lost in a wilderness of grief since then, but have begun to get my bearings a little with a lot of reading and the guidance of AG Crockett. I wasn't sure I could even golf again because that was something I shared with my son. I went out to the local course I golfed at with my son and shed gallons of tears, but found that being alone on a golf course is a good place to process thoughts and feelings. With the encouragement of AG I then decided to start golfing a little to get ready for the Dixie Cup so I could see my GCA friends. I knew seeing the guys would be helpful to me. I didn't expect to care about the golf matches, but found over the course of the Dixie Cup this weekend that I did care and that makes me hopeful for the future. The extraordinary gift I received came in the form of Mike Hendren who drove down 5 hours to the Dixie Cup just to give me a hug in my time of sorrow. One phrase that sticks in my memory from my reading of grief books is "The heart that speaks is heard more than the words spoken". Never was that more perfectly illustrated than by Mike this weekend.
I also want to thank Lou Duran again for putting me in touch with AG, and to thank Evan Fleisher, Mike Young, and Lou for surrounding me with care in my time of need.
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Ed
I can't imagine what you have gone through. I was so glad to see you bein in the thick of things this weekend and pulling off an heroic performance.
You were the champion this weekend my friend
Best Regards
Wardo
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Ed,
I didn't know this, it was a pleasure meeting you this weekend and that we got time to chat on the practice green yesterday. I know your son was smiling at that shot you hit on 11.
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Ed-Please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of your son. I am still in awe of your gracious and generous offering of the Masters ticket this year and the wonderful conversation we had as a result. There really are some great guys on this board with big hearts and I am thrilled to hear of your participation in what sounds to have been a fantastic event. I was lucky enough to have spent a special day with Mike Hendren not long ago and I would expect nothing less than you describe. The game of golf gives many gifts and the most valuable have nothing to do with getting the ball in the hole. Hoping the very best for you and your family as you move forward.
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There are a bunch of very special friends on GolfClubAtlas. Ed, I am so glad you came and Bogey too.
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Ed,
I remember fondly the round several years ago with you, your son and Mr. Halboth at Crystal Downs. For some reason I can remember his tee shot on #11 and also hear Mr. Halboth grumble about his cart driving skills. You were very generous to invite me along that day and you have continually been generous to many on GCA.com and I'm sure elsewhere.
I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss and I want to extend my condolences to you. I truly hope that through time spent with the game or elsewhere you are able to find some peace and comfort in this most trying time.
Jason
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Ed
My deepest condolences.
Encouraging to hear you are gaining the strength to carry on.
Please reach out if I can be of help.
Gene
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Ed,
I am deeply saddened to hear about the loss of your son, and wish you and your family nothing but the very best in the future. I am glad that you've been able to find some peace and comfort from this great game and from some of the many kind individuals on GCA.
Best regards,
Tyler
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Dear Ed
No words can express my sorrow at this moment in time. I will add that your son had a father that was quite possibly the kindest and most generous man alive.
I have your letter on R&A stationery written to Herbert Warren Wind relating your elation of playing the Old Course. I wish I had been there.
Best wishes to you and your dear wife.
Bob
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Dear Ed,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I remember meeting your son at the 2007 US Amateur (I was marshaling a hole, and you and he came out to say hello)....he was a nice young man and he looked like he was enjoying himself.
I can't imagine what you've gone through....I am sorry that I had no idea.
You wrote a wonderful letter to me nearly 10 years ago on the loss of my father. I wish I could convey as well the words of comfort and support you gave me then.
All the best to you and yours.
Kevin
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Ed, you have my deepest condolences. Losing a child is the most unthinkable tragedy I can imagine. Though you and I have never met, my thoughts will be with you and your family.
PS: I always look forward to your posts, as I think you are one of the real thoughtful, insightful people on the DG here.
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Ed
So sorry to hear about your terrible loss. I am sure he would want you to enjoy golf and to think of him when you play at the course you used to play at together.
Maybe the club would let you dedicate a bench in his memory and put a plaque on it? Then he would always be waiting for you when you play and you could sit down for a moment together.
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Ed,
Sympathy is too small a word. Thanks for sharing and it's nice to see that comfort has come your way through gca.
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Ed, good for you for reaching out to people and being responsive to their acts of friendship and comfort. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Ed
So very sorry to hear of your loss, as mentioned above the spirit amongst those on this site can be a solace at times of loss, I share everybody elses condolonces for you and your family.
Golf on my friend!!!
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Ed,
This is very sad news, both Janice and I offer our deepest condolences to you and your wife. I am happy that you have used golf and gca to help in your time of grief. I have found both to be powerful experiences that truly touch the soul.
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Ed,
I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss. If you ever find yourself in the Twin Cities please drop me a note and we'll go grab a beer and get in a round of golf.
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Ed & family
My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my second child, Pete JR. many years ago to respiratory failure. The day that I laid him to rest was the toughest day of my life. It's a pain that never goes away. Let your family and friends always be your guide in dealing with your tragedy.
God bless you, Ed. Hang in there. All the best to you and yours.
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Ed,
Very sorry to hear of your loss as well. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
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Ed,
I'm also very sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine the pain that you and your family are suffering. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
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Ed –
So, so sorry to hear this news. No words can express my sorrow for your loss.
I’ll never forget the day in the UCSF NICU, when you were caring for my newborn twins, that I realized you were the same “Ed Getka” from GCA.com. It’s amazing how small the world can be sometimes, and it’s heartwarming to hear the stories you’ve shared of the brotherhood within this group.
Best wishes to you and your family!
Wayne
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I will add that your son had a father that was quite possibly the kindest and most generous man alive.
So true. And I am sure the apple didn't fall far from the tree. David too had a great weekend in heaven, seeing his father surrounded in fellowship on two wonderful courses.
Ed, thanks for coming. I know it was difficult. You received over the last few days but a little of what you have been sharing with us for so many years. You have many friends happy to lend a hand. Please reach out whenever.
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Ed, I also am shocked and sad to now first hear of the passing of your son. Thank goodness for this kind community of caring souls, all wanting to offer comfort to you in the wake of your family loss. I'm so proud to have a connection to you and grateful to the fine souls within this community who have expressed our collective condolences and heartfelt wisdom drawn from our own experiences and traditions. Connection and heartfelt support is the greatest gift we can offer each other.
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Ed,
So sorry to hear about your son. I knew you hadn't posted much for a long time, but just assumed you had gotten busy with other things. I'm glad that the Dixie Cup experience was good for you and helped in some way. I can assure you that you've already done more for people in the GCA group than we will be able to repay.
Hope our paths cross again soon. Way too long since Lookout.
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Ed,
So very sorry to hear of your loss. Grab all those good golf memories!
Please come visit whenever you are able.
Very best,
Martin.
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Ed,
I am so very sorry for your loss. It has been many years since we played here in Denver but the GolfClubAtlas ties are ties that bind. And that is important for all things happy, sad and tragic. Take care Ed, and know that I and we are here for you.
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Ed,
Its great to see your post. I m so glad you ventured out to the Dixie Cup and found it comforting. David was a special young man I remain deeply sorry for your loss.
But please remember that David was fortunate to have such great parents like you and Kathy ! I hope you come up north soon.
Mark
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Ed,
I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss. If you ever find yourself in the Twin Cities please drop me a note and we'll go grab a beer and get in a round of golf.
Ed, count me in if you are in a position to take Pat up on his offer. I'm so sorry to learn of your loss, and deeply moved by the solace you were able to find from some of the great people who come together because of this site.
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Ed,
We have never met, but your post struck me solidly.
I in no way will compare losing my dad to losing a child. When I lost my dad
in '95 I lost a constant reminder of family involvement on golf courses. He was a PGA professional
and was always involved in my golf, as well as coaching me in hockey.
Early on, those moments an memories would would hurt or cause sadness.
As time has passed, those moments, in particular involving golf, tend to create smiles or even chuckles.
Even those moments are rueful, but incredibly warm and important. My family prays that your moments turn to
warm comforting memories in the future, for now we send all the strength we can to your family. Take time in those
golf course moments.
Pat
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Ed - I, like so many others, have been touched by your generosity to friends and complete strangers alike. Of course, with your spirit and passion strangers are converted to friends instantly upon meeting you. I am saddened to learn of your loss. Your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Tim
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Ed, i am so sorry to hear about your son. Please accept my condolences. It is some comfort that the GCA community and the joy of golf have been able to offer solace in your hour of need. You know that the goodwill extends over to this side of the pond. I hope you can join us before long.
Philip
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The extraordinary gift I received came in the form of Mike Hendren who drove down 5 hours to the Dixie Cup just to give me a hug in my time of sorrow. One phrase that sticks in my memory from my reading of grief books is "The heart that speaks is heard more than the words spoken".
If I were to guess the person who made that trip, Mike might have been my guess. Although there are many others who might do the same thing.
I can't imagine your loss Ed and I wish you the best in learning how to deal with your loss.
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Ed,
As others have said, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I thought losing my father this year was difficult, but there is really no comparison with that and losing a child. I still recall how you so generously reached out to me when I was a newbie poster on GCA and I enjoyed meeting your family during your days in CA.
I don't believe there are words of comfort for situations like this, but I hope your Dixie Cup experience and these posts remind you that you are never alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Thanks for the kind words, thoughts and prayers. I just returned from a trip up to Minnesota to visit my son at his college and attend a play they were putting on. The long drive gave me lots of time to think and reflect. It takes a couple of years to process the grief of losing a child according to the books I have read. The long weekend down in Georgia makes me hopeful for the future that I can reengage with life at some point. For any of you who know someone who has lost a child the one sentence that best sums up what those parents are experiencing is "Sorrow is the sea not the islands". Even if they appear to be doing fine and seem normal they are in agonizing pain. Never hesitate to reach out to them even if it is just to say I'm thinking about you or to give them a hug. It will mean the world to them. Don't ever concern yourself with finding the right words, there are none. "The heart that speaks is heard more than the words spoken".
Thanks again for all the support and thanks again to Bogey and the Dixie Cuppers for helping to heal a piece of my heart.
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Dear Ed,
We've not yet met and played together. I just read your post and as a father of two daughters of 16 and 13 can't even start to relate. My youngest underwent some really scary testing recently involving a brain scan and a DAT scan and even that and waiting for the results was more than I care to ever endure and that with clean results. I found myself thinking if something is going to be wrong with somebody in the family let it be me rather than her. I guess that's likely a parent's normal reaction.
I'll pray that golf can play a role in helping you through this time and in cherishing the wonderful memories you have had with the two of you together on the links.
I wish you and your family immense strength in your mourning process. I'd also like to share my favorite poem from Kahlil Gibran about children with you, perhaps you know it. I realize it may have different meaning to different people but do hope it's appropriate:
On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.