'In My Opinion'

The Tournament Committee

by John Grant

In a unique exclusive to GolfClubAtlas.com, yours truly recently obtained the following transcript from the Augusta National Tournament Committee's post 1999 Masters meeting. These records provide a rare glimpse into the inner workings of America's favorite club and golf tournament. But in order to protect certain members of Augusta National, we have assigned the committee members with numbers to protect the innocent (except Chairman Hootie Johnson, who, unlike former Masters Chairmen, seems to covet the spotlight).

Please note that the comments in brackets were added in order to translate various expressions familiar only to a few wealthy Eastern Georgia golfers and better known to CBS announcers as Cliff Roberts-speak (Example: patrons [spectators]).

Happy reading!

Transcript of the April 23, 1999
Tournament Committee Meeting
Augusta National Golf Club

Meeting called to order in the Butler Cabin, 3:01 p.m.

Chairman Hootie: First off gentlemen, we just hosted another highly successful Masters tournament won by Mr. Jose Maria Olazabal. The highlight of the week included a special Tuesday media-covered cart ride involving myself, The Chairman, and a disabled Mr. Jack Nicklaus, in front of a large gallery and many press core members. We inspected the brilliant improvements [changes] to the course, which included the addition of a second cut [rough] and new strategic trees designed to enhance our design [protect par]. On the financial front, the club will accrue [gross] about $20 million from this year's championship, and save [net] $10 million. So, are there any suggestions from this Committee as to how to invest [spend] this year's Masters proceeds?

Member #4: Perhaps we could consider using the profits for the underground maintenance facility that we have always discussed building? Didn't our estimate say it would cost $10 million?

Chairman Hootie: Well it is an urgent long-term need for the club to camouflage the golf course grounds quarters [the maintenance yard]. But an underground storage center might not be the wisest investment at this point. Especially considering that we need to invest in more of these easily movable pines for our future course design improvements [lame tinkering]. Mr. Jack Nicklaus and Mr. Ray Floyd both complimented me on the new work we did to protect the course from traumatic events like Mr. Tiger Woods' 1997 fluke [resounding twelve-shot] victory. I am honored by their comments, considering they come from two former Masters Champions who have wonderful track records in the golf course renovation business [Nicklaus' goofy St. Andrews in New York, Floyd's since redesigned 'restoration' of Doral].

Member #3: I second that, Mr. Chairman.

Chairman Hootie: Excellent, then we'll allot $5 million for the purchase of more of those young pines that we used so well to protect the integrity of Mr. Bob Jones's course [Jones: ' I don't see any need for a tree on a golf course.'] Now gentlemen, onto television. Any comments about the presentation [CBS telecast]?

Member #1: Yes, I don't like the voice of this English chap on the seventeenth hole. Who is that?

Member #7: You mean Henry Longhurst? Chairman Hootie: Actually that would Mr. Peter Oosterhuis. I will draft a letter to Mr. Oosterhuis asking him to work on the tone of his delivery. What else?

Member #1: Actually, he's the best announcer we have. But that's neither here nor here. I want to know who told Billy Clampett down on #12 to call our creek a 'donnybrook?'

Chairman Hootie: Yes, that was inappropriate. I will ask him to stop using this word. He said it more than once during this year's presentation. I don't know what donnybrook means, but it sure sounds like he is criticizing our beautiful [swimming pool blue] Rae's Creek. We can't have that kind of misuse of the English language during the Masters, especially after the investment we have made in companies making color enhancement products [food coloring]. The hygiene [coloring] of lakes will be a big growth industry in golf thanks to us. Okay, any other television comments?

Member #7: Yes, I thought it was highly inappropriate when Mr. Feherty said the word 'sayonara' as Mr. Jumbo Ozaki's ball spun back into the lake on the fifteenth hole. Don't you think a letter is in order to him Mr. Chairman?

Chairman Hootie: Yes. Even though that was in 1998, I think we should remind Mr. Feherty that such inappropriate [humorous] comments are strictly forbidden during the Masters presentation. I will also be sending a letter to Mr. Peter Kostis for exceeding his agreed upon usage allotment for the word 'control.' As of this morning, our accounting staff reviewing the tapes has counted 917 uses of 'control' through three telecast days. Anything else? Good, well now that we have television settled, let us discuss how we can improve [mutilate] the golf course some more this summer. Your thoughts gentlemen?

Member #7: I thought the changes you made were wonderful Mr. Chairman. What does Fazio suggest we do next? You know I still remember watching him as a young man playing Hogan in that playoff at Merion.

Chairman Hootie: Well, actually, that was George Fazio I think you are speaking of, he passed on sometime ago. But we are consulting his relative, Tom Fazio. Mr. Fazio will do what we tell him to do, which of course is the mark of any great golf architect. Personally, I was most proud of the moment Sunday on the fifteenth hole when Mr. Greg Norman hit what used to be a perfect 300-yard drive. But this year, thanks to us, he was stuck behind one of the new pines, effectively ending the possibility for the normal [intensely dramatic] events that occur during the Masters. I loved watching him decide to lay-up [forcefully chip out], creating that easy decision for Mr. Olazabal to lay up and coast to his victory. This premature end to the tournament gave me a much needed opportunity to go freshen up for the awards ceremony, because I knew with the way we turned the 17th into a strong hole [eliminated the chance for dramatic, historic final day birdies], a comeback was not possible by Mr. Norman. Those changes turned the attention around and put it back on us the committee, not the players, and I think we showed them that who is in control.

Member #3: Here, here. Mr. Chairman, I second that. And furthermore, I suggest we refuse a media credential to this chap with Sports Illustrated, Mr. Bingham. Did you read what he wrote?

Chairman Hootie: You are referring to his essay, 'What the hell are you doing?' I won't waste the committee's time with this propaganda [excellent piece].

Member #4: And who is this Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post? He wrote, 'The Masters may still look the same. But it's not?Over the next few years, we'll watch. If the Arnies and Tigers, and even the occasional star-crossed Shark, stop rising to the top, then that confounded rough has got to go. Who gives a Hootie? Somebody's got to stand up for Bobby Jones.'

Member #7: Didn't we stop issuing credentials to the Washington Post after that Woodstein and Bernwood tried to bring this country down just a couple of years ago [1974]?

Chairman Hootie: Gentleman, gentleman, Mr. Boswell and Mr. Bingham will continue to receive credentials as we still believe in the First Amendment. However, I will personally see to it that they are seated in the northern section of the media complex [the nose bleed area reserved for the Macon Liberal-Statesman's fashion writer where high-powered binoculars are needed to see the scoreboard]. Okay, any more comments before I go out on the course to determine where to add trees on 14 and rearrange the ones on 17 in order to ensure they have an effect on the 2000 Masters?

Member #2: I think we must reprimand Mr. Tom Weiskopf. I found his comments about us to be very unfair this year. He wrote: 'The biggest problem is the committees. I truly believe they are the ruination of golf. Why do they decide to plant a tree here, change a green there, or build a new tee? I'll tell you why: Everyone wants to leave their mark. It's human nature.'

Chairman Hootie: Yes, those were regrettable comments. I have no idea how he could make such a claim.

Member #9: Mr. Chairman, I just wanted to ask if perhaps Mr. Boswell, Mr. Bingham and Mr. Weiskopf might have had a point [were definitely correct]? Maybe the idea of making changes to our proven design in order to keep the winning score the same, is not wise when it's largely because of changes in equipment, improved course conditioning and overall better play? Mr. Bob Jones did write once, 'I should never care to argue for anything which would lessen the difficulty of the game, for its difficulty is its greatest charm. But when, in spite of vast improvement in the ball, in seeking to preserve the difficulty and to make scoring as hard as it was in the old days, we make the mistake of destroying the effect of skill and judgement in an important department, I cannot help protesting.'

Chairman Hootie: First of all, I doubt Mr. Jones wrote that because I have never read anything he wrote except a few harmless letters to Mr. Roberts. And even if Bob Jones did write that, I know if he were alive today he would be the first person joining me in my cart when I go out and spot locations for the next batch of baby pine trees that will forever strengthen [interfere with] the outcome of many future Masters. I know Mr. Jones would be completely in favor of the second cut [rough], the nice new stone aesthetic [pseudo prison wall] next to the second tee, and all of the other refinements [blatant changes] we are making to his and C.B. Macdonald's design. With that said, I think this is a good time to adjourn until next week when Member #9's membership status will be discussed by the Discipline Committee. Until then, may I congratulate myself and most of this committee on a job well done.

Meeting adjourned at 3:12 pm.

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