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Carl Johnson

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You go first.

Ronald Montesano

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Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2014, 06:33:24 AM »
What were you imagining?

Instead of calls received, I'm able to contribute two awkward moments:

"No, you may not charge back to your club. We don't have a relationship with it."

"No, you may not use your push cart. We have a caddie program if you wish to walk, or you may take a cart."
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Stuart Hallett

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2014, 06:54:58 AM »
A call that sticks in my memory at a private club in France.
Context : 5 cars on the parking, and only 2 players seen during my visit.

I知 having lunch with two members and the club Secretary. The phone rings, the Secretary walks to take the cordless phone and walks back to the table after saying ォ please hold the line サ. He sits next to us and places the phone on the table, pauses, listens to our conversation, looks disturbed, and then finally picks up the phone. ォ I知 sorry sir, but that will not be possible today, the course is too busy, sorry ! サ

Everyone sat in a momentary silence, enjoyed the scrambled eggs with truffles, and relished the protection from outside invaders.
Any guess where ?

Joe_Tucholski

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2014, 08:00:31 AM »
A call that sticks in my memory at a private club in France.
Context : 5 cars on the parking, and only 2 players seen during my visit.

I知 having lunch with two members and the club Secretary. The phone rings, the Secretary walks to take the cordless phone and walks back to the table after saying ォ please hold the line サ. He sits next to us and places the phone on the table, pauses, listens to our conversation, looks disturbed, and then finally picks up the phone. ォ I知 sorry sir, but that will not be possible today, the course is too busy, sorry ! サ

Everyone sat in a momentary silence, enjoyed the scrambled eggs with truffles, and relished the protection from outside invaders.
Any guess where ?


Stuart I appreciate the honesty in the post.  One of the advantages of an exclusive private club must be the "protection from outside invaders."  I think for those who live a public life the ability to retreat from that public persona is priceless.  That being said for most people I think the allure of an exclusive private club is a general sense of satisfaction knowing they have something others want but can't have.  The post also touches on the desire of those outsiders who want to be part of the club.  I'm sure the club in question has a great course (plural most likely) but the gates preventing one from entering only increase the desire for most to see it.  The unfortunate cycle perpetuates itself.

Adam Lawrence

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2014, 08:11:48 AM »
A call that sticks in my memory at a private club in France.
Context : 5 cars on the parking, and only 2 players seen during my visit.

I知 having lunch with two members and the club Secretary. The phone rings, the Secretary walks to take the cordless phone and walks back to the table after saying ォ please hold the line サ. He sits next to us and places the phone on the table, pauses, listens to our conversation, looks disturbed, and then finally picks up the phone. ォ I知 sorry sir, but that will not be possible today, the course is too busy, sorry ! サ

Everyone sat in a momentary silence, enjoyed the scrambled eggs with truffles, and relished the protection from outside invaders.
Any guess where ?


Must be Morfontaine surely? Vidauban never gets that busy!
Adam Lawrence

Editor, Golf Course Architecture
www.golfcoursearchitecture.net

Principal, Oxford Golf Consulting
www.oxfordgolfconsulting.com

Author, 'More Enduring Than Brass: a biography of Harry Colt' (forthcoming).

Short words are best, and the old words, when short, are the best of all.

Mike_Trenham

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2014, 08:19:58 AM »
On a nice winter day...

Member:  Are there any caddies available?

Stafft: No we are all out.

Member: Ok I'll be right over then.

True story
Proud member of a Doak 3.

Ronald Montesano

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2014, 08:50:00 AM »
On a nice winter day...

Member:  Are there any caddies available?

Stafft: No we are all out.

Member: Ok I'll be right over then.

True story

A vindictive caddie master would have summoned some urchin from home and surprised the member upon arrival.
Coming in August 2023
~Manakiki
~OSU Scarlet
~OSU Grey
~NCR South
~Springfield
~Columbus
~Lake Forest (OH)
~Sleepy Hollow (OH)

JLahrman

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2014, 08:54:33 AM »
From personal experience:

Member: "What's the weather like today?" (this member lived 5 minutes from the club)
Me: It's really humid out and at least 95 degrees.
Member: OK, we'll be right over.

Not a phone call but still pretty funny. The head pro and I were watching a member and his ex-wife playing down the first fairway, after I had gotten their bags and cart set up. Head pro had just come back from giving a lesson.
Head pro: Is that Mr. ____ and Mrs. ___?
Me: Yes
Head pro: Did you charge them for the carts separately?
Me: No, he asked me to put the full cart charge on his account.
Long pause...
Head pro: I think somebody is still getting some p***y.

An invaluable lesson for me at age 19.

Let me see if I can jog my memory a little more.

Carl Johnson

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2014, 12:13:00 PM »
What were you imagining?

Calls, or awkward moments, are all just fine -- good stories.  Or, if you want to make one up, apocryphal or plausibly so, that would be o.k., too.  Great responses so far.

Instead of calls received, I'm able to contribute two awkward moments:

"No, you may not charge back to your club. We don't have a relationship with it."

"No, you may not use your push cart. We have a caddie program if you wish to walk, or you may take a cart."

jeffwarne

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2014, 12:23:28 PM »
On a nice winter day...

Member:  Are there any caddies available?

Stafft: No we are all out.

Member: Ok I'll be right over then.

True story

very common.

usually able to recycle the worst one possible by the time he arrives though
"Let's slow the damned greens down a bit, not take the character out of them." Tom Doak
"Take their focus off the grass and put it squarely on interesting golf." Don Mahaffey

Daryl David

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2014, 01:20:38 PM »

"How come you don't post your initiation fees and annual dues on your website?"   8)

Steve Burrows

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2014, 07:27:18 PM »
A buddy of mine used to be an assistant pro and would get this call fairly regularly from members who were either indecisive or simply prone to haggling.  Even when it was their idea, they were unwilling to accept the first thing offered to them:

Pro: Good afternoon, Mr. ______.
Caller: Hello. I was hoping to get out on the course tomorrow morning, maybe at 9:30?
Pro: I can get you out right at 9:30.
Caller: Do you have anything earlier?
« Last Edit: November 29, 2014, 07:30:49 PM by Steve Burrows »
...to admit my mistakes most frankly, or to say simply what I believe to be necessary for the defense of what I have written, without introducing the explanation of any new matter so as to avoid engaging myself in endless discussion from one topic to another.     
               -Rene Descartes

Paul Gray

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2014, 07:37:32 PM »
A buddy of mine used to be an assistant pro and would get this call fairly regularly from members who were either indecisive or simply prone to haggling.  Even when it was their idea, they were unwilling to accept the first thing offered to them:

Pro: Good afternoon, Mr. ______.
Caller: Hello. I was hoping to get out on the course tomorrow morning, maybe at 9:30?
Pro: I can get you out right at 9:30.
Caller: Do you have anything earlier?


This is so familiar. Typically:

Caller: Have you got anything around 10:15?
Pro: Yep, 10:18.
Caller: Anything earlier?
Pro: Well, 10:10 is also available.
Call: No, no, that's too early.

In the places where golf cuts through pretension and elitism, it thrives and will continue to thrive because the simple virtues of the game and its attendant culture are allowed to be most apparent. - Tim Gavrich

Cory Lewis

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2014, 07:54:06 PM »
This one happened a few weeks ago:

caller:  Is there a frost delay?
Me:  Yes, we will update at 9.
caller:  Why do you have a frost delay?  There's no frost in my yard.
Me:  There's no frost on the grass in your yard?
caller:  I don't have grass in my yard.
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jeffwarne

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2014, 07:59:40 PM »
This one happened a few weeks ago:

caller:  Is there a frost delay?
Me:  Yes, we will update at 9.
caller:  Why do you have a frost delay?  There's no frost in my yard.
Me:  There's no frost on the grass in your yard?
caller:  I don't have grass in my yard.


Caller: Why do we have a frost delay?
Me: because there's frost on the greens-but it's warming up quickly and the greens should be playable very shortly
Caller:That's impossible the puddle in my driveway's not frozen
Me: I suggest playing in your driveway
"Let's slow the damned greens down a bit, not take the character out of them." Tom Doak
"Take their focus off the grass and put it squarely on interesting golf." Don Mahaffey

David Whitmer

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Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #15 on: November 29, 2014, 08:04:11 PM »
I once answered the phone in the pro shop, and the conversation went like this:

Me: "Good afternoon, Pro Shop, David speaking."
Mrs. Smith: " Hi David, Jane Smith speaking. What is the chef's special tonight in the dining room?"
Me: "I'm not sure, Mrs. Smith. Would you like me to connect you to the dining room?"
Mrs. Smith: "No, that's okay. I'll call them...I know the number."

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2014, 08:05:46 PM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

David Whitmer

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #17 on: November 29, 2014, 08:12:04 PM »
Many years ago, I picked up the phone during a Monday outing, and a resident whose backyard looked out on the 4th tee was on the line. My boss heard this:

"Good afternoon, Pro Shop, David speaking. ( Pause) Hi Mr. Sauer. (Pause) There's a guy peeing on your flowers? (Long Pause) Well, certainly I can come out, but I doubt I can get him to stop. I'm sure he'll be finished by the time I reach the 4th tee."

David Whitmer

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #18 on: November 29, 2014, 08:15:58 PM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

I never thought any members were stupid. But like everyone, myself included, they sure said or asked stupid things every now and then.

Nigel Islam

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #19 on: November 29, 2014, 08:22:04 PM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

That's why I despise talking on the phone. No good can come of it.

John Kavanaugh

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #20 on: November 29, 2014, 08:26:14 PM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

I never thought any members were stupid. But like everyone, myself included, they sure said or asked stupid things every now and then.
[/quote]

I know plenty of stupid members. I once asked an assistant at the Bandon Resort how to get to Pacific Trails. He threw his hands in the air and told me he couldn't help me because they don't have a course by that name. I had to go outside and ask a stranger. Yea I was stupid but sometimes you just got to help a guy out.

Mickey Boland

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2014, 12:27:12 AM »
True story.

I was working as an assistant at a golf course in Friendswood, just south of Houston.  We had had a lot of rain and there were crop dusters in the area spraying for mosquitoes.  I get a call in the pro shop that they are going to stop flying over the course because somebody was throwing golf balls at one of the planes.  Some kid in a blue shirt.  Pro says to go check it out.  

We were having a junior tournament, and my younger brother happened to be playing.  So I think it will be a good time to swing by and check him out as well.  I catch up with him, and he's wearing a blue shirt.  (You're probably way ahead of me at this point) I think "this can't be".  So we trade the usual small talk and then I drop the line about somebody throwing golf balls at the crop duster.  "Yeah, that was me" he says.  I can't say on this forum some of the words I used with him.  
« Last Edit: November 30, 2014, 12:45:30 AM by Mickey Boland »

Paul Gray

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2014, 06:27:02 AM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

You really shouldn't be.
In the places where golf cuts through pretension and elitism, it thrives and will continue to thrive because the simple virtues of the game and its attendant culture are allowed to be most apparent. - Tim Gavrich

Bill Brightly

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2014, 07:24:32 PM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

You really shouldn't be.

Now that's funny.

Garland Bayley

  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Calls received at a private golf club -- let's make some up! (OT)
« Reply #24 on: December 02, 2014, 01:06:41 PM »
I'm always amazed when I'm the one golfing and the guy working behind the counter thinks I must be stupid.

You really shouldn't be.

+1
"I enjoy a course where the challenges are contained WITHIN it, and recovery is part of the game  not a course where the challenge is to stay ON it." Jeff Warne

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